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Kids should never be left alone to play.
One in 42 children will become lost, missing, kidnapped or run away this year. While stranger abduction is relatively rare, it still happens. Most abductions are perpetrated by someone the child knows. Child abduction is a tragedy. It devastates the parents, families, and touches all of us. Please read the following carefully about ways to keep your children safe.
Knowing the top 10 lure techniques (as identified by the FBI) that are used by child predators will better prepare you to talk openly to your children and teach them what key phrases to look for and how to stay safe.
The Helpless Lure: This is a person who needs help carrying boxes to his car, or to find a lost dog, or lost child.
Prevention: Tell children that adults don’t ask kids for help in any way. Adults should ask Adults for help or directions or whatever they want.
The Promise Lure: This is when the predator promises to take the child to Mommy and Daddy. Or perhaps promises a surprise or candy in the car.
Prevention: Tell children that they are NEVER to go with anyone unless Mom or Dad has instructed them to.
The Gift Giving Lure: This is the predator who gives the child candy, toys, money, or other gifts.
Prevention: Tell children NEVER to accept gifts from anyone unless they received permission from Mom and Dad. This includes money from other family members (especially when the child is told to keep a secret). Tell children that we don’t keep secrets in our family.
The Messenger: This is the predator who tells the child that “Mommy was in a car accident” and the child is to go with them. Or “Your Mom called and asked me to pick you up today.”
Prevention: Tell children the names of people you have entrusted as emergency back ups. Remind them NEVER to go with anyone unless Mom or Dad instructs them to.
The Leader (Authority Figure): This is the policeman, priest, teacher or other authority figure who uses their position and suggested authority to win the child’s trust.
Prevention: Tell children not to go with anyone no matter what they are wearing or who they are, even if it means that they might get into trouble. (Many authority figures tell kids they will be in trouble, or threaten to hurt Mom and Dad if the child doesn’t cooperate).
Friendly Lure: This is the nice friendly predator who engages the child in conversation.
Prevention: Teach children not to talk to any adults they don’t know unless their parent is with them.
Playing Games: This is the predator that plays “touching games” and makes the child promise not to tell. Or other ‘games’ that the child feels uncomfortable with.
Prevention: Teach children to listen to their instincts. If something makes them feel funny in their stomachs, they are to stop, run and tell.
Too Cool: This is the person who the child looks up to as “cool.” Perhaps a friend’s older sibling, or a relative or a neighbor who has the latest video games.
Prevention: Teach children to listen to their instincts. If someone asks them to do something they know is wrong or feels funny, teach them to stop, run and tell.
The Magician Lure: This is the predator who seemingly magically knows the child’s name or other information about the child.
Prevention: Don’t put nametags on the outside of your children’s clothing, books, book bags, etc.
The Power Predator: This is the scary predator that just grabs the child off his/her bike and throws them into the car.
Prevention: This is the time when a child should fight, scream, kick, bite. Tell children that if they are on their bikes and someone tries to take them off, they should hold the bike as hard as they can while screaming, “You’re not my Mom/Dad!”
While the computer age has opened a whole new world for our children to explore and learn from, the "information superhighway" also has a dark side we all need to be aware of. Just as they prey on land, Pedophiles lurk on the Internet waiting to lure innocent children into their web of deviance, looking for their next victim.
These deviates meet others who claim children for their victims, share stories, pictures and encourage each other along the way. The tricks they use on the Internet are a little different. They can hide behind the screen. No one can tell if they are 12, 20, 40, or any age. They know how to relate to children and find it easy to communicate on that level. They present themselves in areas children frequent and pose as children.
They get to know the child they are communicating with and pass themselves off as a friend. Often, they will use smoking cigarettes, using drugs, talking about sex, or some activity they should not be involved with as an incitement to lure the child to meet them without anyone knowing. The trap is then laid. An adult will lure the child out to meet with them. Thinking it's another child, they set off to meet their friend.
What happens next depends on the plan of the predator. For some, this would be enough. The fact that they won their trust enough to get them to meet them may be all the ground rules they need to molest the child. Some may attempt a closer relationship by playing the con a little longer. The key to all of this is that child predators are cons. Their goals are as varied as their egos. The limits for one may just be the beginning point for another. There is no way to predict how any given predator will react.
Their personalities differ. Their needs are not the same in many ways. There is only one thing they have completely in common. That is the fact that they find their thrill in luring a child into their well concocted plan. If you own a home computer please advise children of any age of the following rules, which may reduce your child's risk of exploitation:
The more you know, the more you can teach your children to be aware of the world around them. There is so much good in it. They should be able to enjoy it, safely.
These are signs and indicators that should alert parents, doctors, nurses, dentist, school teachers, daycare workers, babysitters, or law enforcement to sexual or physical abuse:
Physical Signs: bruises, cuts, limping, multiple injuries, pain, bleeding, itching, fluid or rawness in private areas of the body.
Abrupt Behavior Changes: withdrawal, fearfulness, isolation, excessive mood swings, nightmares, starts bed-wetting, stops potty-training, aggressive or rebellious behavior, school problems, clinging, excessive crying, or regression to infantile behavior. Sudden interest in sexual habits not suited for their age group.
Emotional Problems: depression, anxiety, panicky, guiltiness, rejection, acting out their feelings, aggressiveness, intentionally afflicts pain to them, becomes fearful of certain people, places, or activities.
- If you notice any of these signs or indicators, you should ask questions. Ask the child about whatever has alarmed you. Please pay very close attention to their reaction, as well as their answers to your questions. Children may try to make excuses or cover it up out of shame or fear of the predator.
- When you question a child under these circumstances, you must stay com and collective. Keep your composure and assure the child they are not to blame for whatever is happening to them. Point out to them that the abuser is solely to blame and must be punished for their actions. This can be tough if the abuser is someone close to them, like a relative.
- NEVER show disbelief in what the child tells you! You must gain the child's trust and they must feel security in your presence or they will claim up and withdrawal. It is very rare for a child to lie about something of this nature.
- Explain to the child the procedures that must be taken. Reinforce the trust and feel of security that they have placed in you! Promise to stay by their side and do so! The child has given you their confidence, don't blow it!
- Call the police or local law enforcement and report the crime. It might be easier for the victim if you request an officer of the same sex as the child to do the questioning. Ask the child if he or she would feel more comfortable with a male or female officer. Most law enforcement agencies have male and female officers trained to handle these cases.
- The child will need to go to a hospital to be checked out. The doctor will do a complete examination and take specimens, samples, and pictures needed for prosecutors to prosecute the case. Please stay by the child's side as you promised, unless the child asks you not to! This will be a very trying time for the child, but it is of utmost importance to prove the guilt of the predator or abuser. You must give the child your full support!
It should be noted that almost everyone does some (or a lot) of these things at least some of the time. This does not mean that they are sex offenders, or even potential sex offenders. The key to discovery is that both the potential and acting-out offender does a high percentage of these things quite regularly. The problem is that unless you are looking for the right thing and the right combination of things, you will think what you see is normal because in the great majority of instances it is normal non-offender behavior.
All the more why the media-view of the sex offender allows the majority of the offenders a safe place to hide their destructive behaviors. That’s also the reason the child molester is so hard to spot. Primarily, he/she is a very normal person. Sex offenders, for the most part, are hard working, tax paying citizens who support their family and who go to church with moderate regularity. That is to say, except for their “sexual aberration,” they are basically non-criminal, non-violent, and in their daily activities you can see, they are very ordinary people. But the media and the legislature paint the sex offender as an ugly monster who is frothing at the mouth and prowling around playgrounds stalking little children. If this had any reasonable truth, the sex offender would be easy to spot and even easier to catch.
While it is true that there are some of these rabid, frothing at the mouth people out there and in prison statistically they are far more rare than lightning strikes on airplanes. Nevertheless, in complete disregard of reality, this monster-profile has become the public and official mind set quite simply because it is easier to hate and a lot more interesting than the truth.
That the victim is perceived as a willing participant is a key element of most sex offender’s deviant fantasy pattern. The continued failure of the “powers that be” to admit or accept that a large majority of children have an early interest in and/or curiosity about sex is one of the sex offender’s primary tools. Many sex offenders take advantage of this natural curiosity to encourage his victim to participate and not complain. The overwhelming majority of sex offenders would probably never offend against a victim that resisted them in any manner or by any means.
Unfortunately, this is not true with the power rapist, some child molesters and the sadistic molester/rapist. These categories present their own special problems of treatment; however, with the exception of the power rapist, the above outlined identification profile has meaningful application.
Talk to your children; to be candid with them. Unfortunately this is a reality in our society and children should be informed that this could occur. The topic should be brought up in a calm, helpful way that diffuses fear and offers practical and realistic tips.
As the Internet becomes more and more popular, it also becomes more and more dangerous to your kids. Parents should take an active role in teaching their children how to use the Internet properly and how to avoid all of the dangers that are out there. They need to monitor their children's Internet usage and make sure their children know and follow the rules for being online.
To help parents get "up to speed" on how their kids use the Internet and to know how to help and monitor their children's online activities to keep them safe.